Whoa, buddy… a little update! I’ve been wanting to share more about what’s been going on.
Who knew stress and anxiety could have such an impact on a person, or even more so, their voice? Not me! In fact, I’ve never really been one to acknowledge stress or anxiety. I’ve always had the mindset of "work through it." I love working hard—it makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something. Work, work, work. I bulldoze and muscle my way through things. When things don’t go according to plan, I usually just push through.
I started this year off with a plan to grow, grow, grow, and five months in, I crashed. I tend to bite off more than I can chew. So what? Not a big deal—just adjust and carry on, right? But this time, that wasn’t the case. Having a baby, building a family, creating financial stability, keeping things structured at home, date nights, church, meal times, daddy daycare, playing at night to pay the bills, all while putting out music, continuing to be an artist and sharing content, staying in touch with the people I care about—whoa, all of that with no breaks and little rest…
This week marks my first break in 46 weeks.
I’ve been diagnosed with something called Muscle Tension Dysphonia, which is caused by tension (hence the name). The muscles in my neck and voice box have been constricting me for quite a while, it seems. My voice has literally been carrying the weight of my life.
The good news is, I’ve pretty much changed my entire life and how I do things—or at least, I’ve set in motion a major change. It’s a process that’s taking months to unfold. You can’t just stop working… but there are some things I’ve had to put on hold, like social media, live streams, riding with my bandmates to shows, talking as much (haha), writing, and recording.
I’ve had to focus on relaxing, breathing, exercising, sleeping well, and learning to live life a new way, thanks to the professionals over at Vanderbilt Voice Center for guiding me and holding my hand through the process.
I’m not out of the woods yet, but I have a lot of restored hope. I’m dreaming again, I’m smiling more, and I’m learning to experience life more in the moment. Also, I’ve learned that there is actually nothing wrong with my vocal cords—woohoo! It’s just a case of tension.
All that to say, I’m on the mend. God is using this season to teach me something, and although at first I was kind of reluctant, I’m realizing it’s okay to take breaks, it’s okay to step back, it’s okay to breathe, and it’s okay to reflect.
If you’re afraid that your world as you know it is going to fall apart if you take a break, then maybe it’s not the right world for you. At least, that’s my reality at the moment. So, I’m rebuilding a new reality, a new rhythm of life. A life I can live at a pace that is sustainable, with planned rest.
Ahh, it’s so relieving to share good news with you. I’m so thankful I’m no longer in a dark place. I hope to be going live in the group again sooner than later… until then please feel free to message me and say hello.
Big hugs!
~Erath